Feral Felines

So it is no secret that with me the whole dog versus cat debate is very much a one sided affair. It does not help that I am allergic to cats and that I have always associated them with feeling like shiza. My parents very much are feline lovers and as a result had a string of them as I grew up. First, (at least according to my imperfect memory as we are going back pretty far) there was Kitty, Callie, Calvin, and now Moby. As each one of them contributed to compelling my imperfect lungs to spasm and ultimately choke off oxygen to my body (including a few emergency room visits), I engineered a strategy that would keep them as far away from me as possible. This simply involved, clapping, stomping, making loud noise, or chasing them until, ultimately, after years of training, they would give me a wide berth as I approached them. Moby the current cat even runs from the room the moment he spots me with his scared yellow eyes. It is a perfect relationship as far as I am concerned. But cats also certainly know when they have the upper hand. Often I visit friends who have cats, and without fail, their pets always seem to saunter in my direction and rub their fur all over my legs. The cats seem to know that I am defenseless under these circumstances as I can certainly not bat them away (at least not without offending/horrifying my friends) or do anything else other than look pathetic as I am forced to run away from them. Perhaps it is their revenge upon me.

With this background you might better understand the irony associated with my current living situation where karma is certainly paying me back for years of tormenting my parents’ cats. I live in an apartment community which is over run by dozens of sickly feral Manila cats with patchy multi colored fur. Many of them also proudly display battle scars certainly garnered from what I am sure is a never ending litany of fights with other cats in the community. They seem to all have staked out their territory and get extremely protective of their section of the complex as other animals approach. While they fight a lot, they also seem to mate A LOT, because with the cock-a-doodle-doos of the cock fighting roosters next door, another common sound is that of a cat in heat which involves high pitched horrific screeching that sounds as if something is dying. Their love children in turn increase the size of the cat population on the complex and a vicious cycle ensues.



As you can imagine there are mixed feelings among the residents of the complex about living amongst such a large number of these creatures. The groups essentially have broken into two groups the pro and anti-cat lobbies. Now I think it is no surprise as to which group I belong. In fact, the cat haters actually out-number the cat lovers by a sizable margin. It is just that it is a silent apathetic majority, while the pro cat lobby, is extremely load and vocal (sound familiar?) goes as far as placing food around the complex and tries to take care of the cats whenever possible. This as you can imagine creates some friction. Besides being loud, annoying, smelly, and likely disease ridden I have actually gotten into a feud with one cat in particular. I have yet to name him (but am certainly open to suggestions; extra points for evil or sinister sounding names) but he is a dirty white creature with orange and brown patches of fur, beady yellow eyes and a stub for a tail. I first met this horrible creature at 2am as I approached my apartment after a plane flight into Manila from Cambodia. He was making himself comfortable on my doormat and casually looked at me as I approached. Then after a moment he stood up, defecated on my aforementioned doormat and then sauntered off. Quite a first impression!

Over the next several weeks I caught him comfortably resting on my doormat, and on multiple occasions I would find new gifts left to me by my white and orange nemesis. He forced me to withdraw my doormat inside my apartment as it would otherwise continue to be used as his bed/toilet. First round undoubtedly goes to the cat. But alas I have few weapons in this fight. My only recourse is to scare him when I see him making himself too cozy around my residence. It turns out, however, that this particular cat has terrorized many other residents as well all who would be happy to see him disappear. And I am one of them. I am certainly not suggesting stuffing him into a burlap sack and chucking him into Manila Bay (though I have certainly fantasized about it at times), but if he were to disappear I would be quite happy. I don’t need to know the methods, just his disappearance would suffice. But undoubtedly if he left one would quickly replace him. Stupid Cats!!